I went to England and these really helped

And that somber looking dude on top might totally stab you

So the queen and I were going to hang so I texted her and she didn't respond and I went by her house and she was totally in

What if I smell something suspicious? The pictures are so non-English speakers know about terrorists

The key to the Chinese economy - superfast and super infringing on copyright laws

At first, I thought these were profiteroles

I bet he thinks he's going to make his fortune this way

Lazy Pasta-Eating Bastards

So, i thought it was going to be so cool having a day to spend in Milan on my way to London and I was horribly wrong. The first thing that happened to me when I arrived at 7:55am local time (I got up at 3am) was that an Italian ATM machine confiscated my card saying there was a problem. I lost access to my fortune. I had about 70 lira on me, which came to about 25 euro - which is like 50 cents in the EU. I used half of it to take the express train downtown and wandered around for 3 hours trying to find something for breakfast or at least a bottle of water. No convenience stores and NOTHING was open. I thought maybe it was just a late-rising city, but it must be some sort of holiday since this was the scene by 12:30 in the afternoon:

Milan Milan bo Bilan

So the trolleys were free since they're so lazy

So I found the stuff worth seeing and also managed to eat a smoked bacon sandwich with olive paste on a soft baguette and the best tiramisu ever. I had planned to spend my day eating, but that plan was foiled when all restaurants and restaurant type eateries were closed. Jerks.

Sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason (Milan, Italy)