I had to slay this tree after it ate 5 children. You're welcome.

In the mood for something sweet? Try a Honey Bucket, best served lukewarm with flies

No crack! Well, not for children anyway

I get to do a lot of celebrity-spotting and lookie here - it's Uncle Jessie from the Dukes of Hazard!

I love the Lavanderia!

And the Lavanderia loves me. . .

Ooooh I love eating the local food!

They didn't have any NY Times left - what was I supposed to do?

I went to Vegas for a weekend and this was an art installation depicting man's struggle to. . . yeah it was a loser passed out at the slots

I mean, what are you supposed to do when your arm gets tired from wasting your son's college fund, but you don't want to give up your machine because you KNOW it's about to hit a jackpot?